Monty Python Fried Rice

There are certain recipes that a guy can make off the top of his head, if he does it often enough. I like fried rice, so when I first moved out to be on my own I learned to make it using a recipe from Stephen Yan, of Wok with Yan fame. Over the years I made it often enough that it pretty much burned into my brain.

It's a Cantonese-style fried rice, as opposed to the Western style that you find at Chinese food places in the mall. The trouble with those places is that they seem to think that fried rice needs to swim in soy sauce. That's pretty much overkill as far as I'm concerned.

While long-grain rice is recommended, any rice (except for instant) will work. Uncle Ben's Converted is especially good for use in this recipe, since it's reasonably quick and you don't need to worry about rinsing it. But I've also made it with Calrose (medium-grain) rice and it's turned out pretty well.

As for the Monty Python part, while people may think of Eric Idle's I Like Chinese, it actually refers to a certain processed meat product that the comedy troupe made famous--or rather, more famous.

Monty Python Fried Rice

3-4 tbsp. peanut or light cooking oil
3-4 cups cooked rice
1/2 tin famous processed meat product, cut into 1/4" cubes
2 tbsp. (or a splash) Chinese cooking liquor (available in Chinatown or large supermarkets) or rice vinegar
1-2 tbsp. Kikkoman or other light soy sauce
1/2 cup frozen peas (these don't need to be thawed)
1 large egg, beaten
1 green onion, minced

1. In a wok or large skillet, heat the oil. Add the processed meat product and stir fry for a few minutes until the meat changes color slightly.

2. Add the rice, stirring it to make sure it doesn't clump (this may happen with medium- and short-grain rice, not so much with Uncle Ben's). Add the cooking liquor or vinegar, soy sauce and peas.

3. Continue to stir-fry until the rice is a uniform color and the peas are thawed.

4. Add the beaten egg, stirring until it congeals and solidifies with the rice.

5. Add the green onions, stir until mixed thoroughly, transfer to a large platter and serve.